Condi in Bondi

Alright, Condolezza Rice is in Australia to talk about security issues with John Howard's mop and the Japanese.

The US Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, has arrived in Sydney for the start of three days of security talks in Australia....

Dr Rice's visit will culminate on Saturday with trilateral strategic talks with Mr Downer and the Japanese Foreign Minister, Taro Aso.

Earlier, she said China's military and economic rise would be the focus of the trilateral talks because it was the major force driving regional changes.

I wish I could play mouse in their meeting and listen in on what strategies they'll come up with. I could imagine it'll be along those lines:

John Howard: Doctor Rice, you look stunning as always. I can tell you have been doing your Thai-Bo exercises. Can I offer you a cup of oil, or maybe some Milo?

Condolezza: Shut up, fool. I am not here to exchange pleasantries, I am here to get you rat bags back in line. Whats all this nonsense about you guys not being able to see China as the major threat to our empire?

John Howard: Well sorry Dr Rice, but the Peoples Republic of China hasn't done us anything, and are not threatening us either, we have no reason to perceive..."

Condolezza: So fucking what! Iraq didn't do you anything either, and Saddam wasn't threatening you wheatbrains either, why all of a sudden this pussyfooting around?

John Howard: You know Dr Rice, China is a tick bigger than Iraq, and we have good trade relations with them. I am sure we can overcome any quarrelsome issues with more diplomatic.."

Condolezza: Diplomatic, schlipomatic, my scrawny arse we will. Since when are you sunburned mop disobedient enough to not go to war when we tell you to? Have you forgotten how we Americans have saved your sorry arses 60 years ago from them Japs?

Japanese Delegation: Domo arigato for mentioning us your Highness Doctel Lice, but we wouldn't do that again. Austalia is now good fliend of us and ..."

Condolezza: Oh no, you got that all wrong ol squezze eye. You will attack Australia when we tell you to do so, or at least finance us when we will. Am I understood?

The Japanese Delegation and John Howard nod with their heads, a body gesture that seems to please the Dominatrix, and she reclines and takes off her black leather boots. John Howard and the Japanese Delegation immediately start massaging Condi's feet, knowing that this will keep them in her good books. Maybe, later on, when they have a chance to be alone, she might even whip them.




Am I mistaken or can I see John Howard in the crowd?